this week

on setting intentions and failing what's planned

January was filled with good intentions. Intentions to do better. Intentions to drink less or not at all. To be less online. To write more, to read more. To spend more in-person time with friends and family. Intentions to not have any intentions. None of these were my intentions, but I finally gave in and even spent an evening drawing out my Big Intention For The Week and coloring it in with some colored pencils my teenager rustled up for me.

Laundry. After weeks of falling behind, catching up, falling behind again, I was finally going to stay on top of laundry for the week. Intentions are supposed to keep you focused, give you a plan.

It was a mistake.

I still fell behind on laundry and this time felt worse about it. Because I thought I could do better. Because I had planned to do better. The reason we always fall behind on laundry is that we have this incredible family with two busy kids and we’re washing clothes and towels all the time because we’re splashing in the bath at night or washing hair before picture day or going to jobs we love and out with friends and shoveling snow we’re delighted by.

I have a friend who regularly posts photos of her overflowing dishwasher that used to overwhelm her and now she sees as a sign of abundance - her dishwasher is full because their lives are so full.

Just the same, our laundry baskets are full because our lives are full. And I’m not going to prioritize clean laundry over doing everything else.

Instead, my intentions (after the failed laundry plan) are to do better — until I do worse. And what are better and worse anyway? Who cares!

This week, I’ll be right on time and sometimes I’ll rush a little bit. I might even be late. This week, I’ll try to remember that no matter how much laundry I do, there will always be more laundry to be done, and I’ll wash and dry and fold and wash and dry and fold again. This week, I’ll want to write more than I have time for. And I’ll write anyway. Bits and bobs. Any is enough. None at all is fine too!

This week, I’ll not get carried away in Breaking News everywhere I turn. I’ll read the newspaper instead. I’ll put my phone down. I’ll pick it back up again. I’ll get caught up in Breaking News. I’ll take it easy. I’ll take it slow. I’ll do the crossword and I won’t finish it but I’ll carry it around for a few days like I’m going to get around to it. I won’t get around to it. Who cares!

I’ll listen to the radio. I’ll look for the good news. I’ll get caught up in the bad news, too. I’ll listen to records, teaching the baby to listen for the music. Clapping with her as it goes round and round.

This week, I’ll be overwhelmed, delighted, tired, blissed out, and all the in-betweens. I’ll get it right, I’ll get it wrong. And it doesn’t really matter anyway. There’s a whole life to live and I’m psyched about it.